My life has flavor.  Some question my choices...my willingness to so easily change course as the wind blows in new directions.  And, I must admit that there were times in my life when I listened and questioned myself as well.  I look around and see people who set out on their paths many years ago.  They grew within their chosen direction, became masters, and stayed there until it faded into a soft, easy retreat into a wonderful retirement.  I envy those people.  Covet their deep set roots, and wonder how life would have been had I also dug my heels in and stuck to the script.  But I didn't.  I couldn't.  Granted, there were often times where I had few other options, but also, there were just too many hats I wanted (and sometimes needed) to try on;  roles I had to experience.

     Transition has always come easy for me.  When one grows up with transient parents, being in new situations is not an unusual concept.  I'll admit, it was sometimes painful and lonely, but it also taught me that its okay to take risks because even the most uncomfortable setting or toxic individuals will eventually become but a memory. I've learned that, if it doesn't serve me, I don't have to let it poison my spirit.  I can let it go.  

     Some of the roles were fun and interesting -- others mundane.  But, they were the building blocks to where I'm at today.  I've been the daughter, of course.  A friend, mother, wife, divorcee, mistress.  I've performed on stages and in castles; wore the clown face; sang the songs;  ran the races; put the quarters on the rail road track, danced barefoot on the grass and published the literature. I've also suffered the grief, felt the uncertainty; loneliness; anxiety...the depression.  But I always came back.  I've been the secretary, waitress, actress, marketer, boss, teacher, counselor, nurse...oh, and don't forget the best one..."Grandma".  

     I've partied with the famous and comforted the dying as they expelled their last breaths.  Once I slept in a tee pee after a night of drumming and making dream pillows; I've danced around the fire and rafted over the white water.  People ask me where I am from.  I never quite know how to answer that, for I started in the south, but have progressed throughout the west, east and north; grew up in the city, ghetto, country, lake house, tiny apartments and mini mansion. Explored most religions and cultures, and have had the gift of free-spirited, diverse and creative friends and family from varying ethnicities and gender identities, the athletic and special needs....heros.  And then, of course, there are the four legged souls who have rescued me many times in so many ways...

     I think I've made my point.  The funny thing is that I still feel as though I'm not there yet.  There is more to come.  Things I need to experience, contribute...try just once....   

     So, as I presently (at 50 something) pursue my fifth college degree; transition into yet another phase of my career; write another novel; make my husband, two dogs and three cats painfully listen as I practice my violin; stumble through Rosetta Stone trying to learn Spanish, and, spend many unpaid hours doing volunteer work while wondering from where the funding will appear so I can travel Europe...the epiphany has finally arrived:  while some people choose to stick with the safety and comfort of vanilla, I hope they will understand my ever changing tutti frutti rocky road butterscotch with marshmallow topping choice of varied experiences.  Will they?  Maybe some.  Others not so much.  But that's okay. As long as my choices don't hurt the significant people in my life, the thoughts of others really are insignificant, as they have absolutely no impact on who I am or where I'm going.  Instability?  I don't think so.  Just an immense appetite for making my life everything I want it to be before its over.  They'll do it their way, and I'll do it mine.  Either way, we are all going to end up looking back over our lives someday.  I sit by many death beds through hospice work and I can tell you that, if anyone were to ask me what I want my last three words to be when its my turn, I would say without hesitation....  "It--- was--- good!"