I've experienced grief in my lifetime as most people my age have. I've lost my parents, friends over the years, relatives and pets... I teach courses in Grief and Loss and have attended grief counseling workshops. I understand the major theories like Kubler Ross' and know about the individualness of each person's experience and all of the variables that can make it unique. What I never understood, though, was that there may be a different way to perceive grief.
Today was a rough day after feeling my Boo gently pass away in my arms yesterday. But, I've been approaching it in a little different manner and I think I'm on to something here. The concept of mindfulness suggests that we can observe our own experiences without judgement, recognizing that they are what they are. Today, several times, I was able to step back in my mind and just watch myself experience my loss. I felt the waves of emotional pain, but at the same time recognized it for what it was and it somehow made it a little easier. I just realized that Terri is going through this process because she is capable of loving. By watching myself objectively, I also began to understand that this is a fleeting moment in my life and, as with my past experiences, this too will soon become a comfortable, warm memory that I will be able to tuck away in my heart and take out whenever I want to feel his love.
Life will always be full of challenges and painful moments, but maybe there really is a way to soften the bumps just a little or even learn to embrace what we think is bad. Or, maybe its just all about discovering what we already knew.
You have come upon an important insight. As humans, it is important to appreciate our experience and to honor our feelings from which so many people run in fear. What is important is to remember the love.
ReplyDeleteAs the wonderful mystical spiritual teacher, Anthony Demello, maintained, one needs to learn to detach from things of this world. That is not to say that we should forget; quite the contrary. When we can be objective, we are able to come to a place of serene acceptance. From there we are able to stay spiritually centered and present to each unfolding moment of our lives.
From what I know about you and from what I have read in your musings, you are spiritually evolving rapidly. You have remained humble as a student of the spirit, but you are becoming an important teacher. I encourage you to move bravely forward using your heart and an open mind.
Thank you for your inspirations. I would encourage you, too, to write a book. Perhaps you could combine your grief work with the spiritual lessons you have learned. That would help others come to a place of quiet acceptance while cherishing every moment that continues to pass within their lives.